i will edit this tomorrow.

you know how sometimes at a restaurant you eat so much that your gut hurts, but then you end up sitting at the table talking for a while, and without even realizing it, you pick up the complimentary bread and eat more? You are full, but you can still shove a bit more in your gullet, so you do it compulsively. the feeling of satisfaction begins to form sickening guilt, but you cant stop.

THATS ME WITH FABRIC.

and the sad thing is, I DON'T EVEN WORK AT THE FABRIC STORE ANYMORE!

i got into some disagreements with individual employees and managers, stated my issues to the proper office, and waited patiently as nothing was done. Then, when i told a co-worker that i was considering calling human resources about some problems, she warned me not to call. She said she had called them herself to complain about a manager, but then HR called the manager she complained about and told her that she had complained. THEY USED HER NAME! it's supposed to be confidential!

now, as you may know, my husband is a lawyer, so I know that it is illegal for the manager to retaliate on the employee for having called and complained, but in the corporate world, its only retaliation if it is an event that can be documented on paper, such as a demotion or termination. its hard to document backhanded compliments, catty remarks and general douche-baggery.

i dont think my issues were really that whiney either. a few months ago, they were having the roof repaired (it leaked in some areas), but the roofing crew they hired (and by hired i mean picked them up behind the home depot and paid them in travelers checks and mountain dew.) caused more trouble than the occasional leak. I expected some banging noises and the smell of tar to permeate the building for a few days, but then some sort of dust began to fall in huge clumps. If it came in contact with some people's skin, they would break out into an itchy rash. and it contained rust, so it would stain any light colored fabric it touched. when i first saw it falling, I roped off the aisle with caution tape and warned customers to ask for assistance instead of venturing into the drop zone for their clearance priced christoper lowell drapery rods. I asked my manager to make a sign to warn customers about the falling debris, but he just rolled his eyes at me and called me "chicken little." Then chunks of METAL started falling, and I noticed a GIANT @#$K ALL CRACK IN THE CEILING STEMMING FROM THE ENORMOUS HANGING AIR CONDITIONING UNIT. By this time, another manager had taken down my precautionary tape, so I put more up. she took it down again, but this time, she dragged me away from a line of customers to watch her take down the tape, and said "don't put anymore signs up. just sweep it up as it falls."

not five minutes later a clump of ceiling dirt fell on me and my arms and face turned bright red. luckily, i was going home anyways so i immediately got in the shower and minimized any potential damage, though i did get blisters in and around my ears where i didn't scrub.

BUT THATS NOT ALL!

Yes, that can be considered an unsafe work environment, especially when i voiced my concerns and was told to "put on my big girl panties." One of the most frustrating things i felt though, was a complete lack of respect.

Now, I'm not saying that I automatically deserved respect, but i KNOW i earned it. I worked for that store for three years collectively, one of those years in management.While I was at my last store, sales were up, shrink was down, and my bosses told me that I had made improvements over the last supervisor.now, I think I've shown that I know a thing or two about fabrics, but still, when i would try to answer a customer's questions, there were a couple of girls who worked with me, we'll call them thing 1 and thing 2, that would stick their noses into my conversations and say "no you can't make a tie blanket with that fleece" even though i've done it and could explain how to manipulate and care for it correctly. Thing 1 would consistently undermind me and try to order me around where she had no business telling me to do anything. even the customers would pull me aside and say "what is that girl's problem?"

Thing 1 and 2 lived together, which is against policy, but not my place to enforce. the thing about it though, is they made costumes and sold them on ebay on the side. so of course they would buy a lot of fabric, but they would cut it for each other. My store had a policy that you could not cut your own fabric, because who's gonna stop you for getting five yards and paying for three? then again, who's gonna stop your roommate to whom you owe back rent?

Recently the store was audited, and it found that it was missing an amazing SIXTY THOUSAND DOLLARS worth of merchandise! Am I implying that these girls stole sixty thousand dollars worth of stuff? if that were the case i would be impressed. i might even aplaud them. but because of this gross deficit, we were required to record every single inch of fabric that came to the counter.

Not a big deal right? that's my job anyway? the thing is that china, their big supplier, screws up a lot with measurments, and will sometimes send a bolt with 7 and a half yards when the store ordered 8. Or sometimes the fabric is a little crooked, and instead of just giving the customer that screwy piece and eating the three cents it costs, suddenly i have to cut it straight and throw away that fraction of an inch. Lastly, i dont know about the rest of the population, but my thumb is an inch wide, so when i roll out more than a yard, my thumb interferes with the measurments,

and have you ever tried to take away an inch of fabric from a quilter? you might as well try to take their leg.

my beef is this. I went to management about ithe thefts. other employees went to them about it. I encouraged customers to go to management about it, and the results? THEY GOT MORE HOURS.

they weren't the only ones who got away with stealing. you can steal pretty much anything from that store. i have been told by my managers that employees are not allowed to accuse customers of stealing, even if you see them take fabric off the bolt and shove it in their pants. (btw, that is the most popular way to do it!)

The icing on the cake should have been my first red flag though. i started working at this particular store some time in september. in november, near black friday, i was working with a woman who was notorious for disappearing as soon as there was any work to do. being the holiday season it was insanely busy, and my boss left me in charge of the counter. I stepped away for some reason, but when i came back, there were only two employees at the counter, confronted with a huge line of disgruntled customers. i called for the spacy woman to come back to the counter three times before she finally showed up, and when she did, she yelled across the floor, "there was no one here a minute ago!" I replied "well there are people here now, so you need to come cut." she then approached me with some fabric she was holding, and SHOVED ME LIKE A THREE YEAR OLD.

physical violence usually ends in someone getting fired right? NOT AT JOANNS!

Actually no, it ended with ME getting fired, but not for another six months. I told the MOD when it happened, but the MOD at the time was a sheepish woman, who said she would talk to the spacy woman about it. it wasnt until a few days later that i told another co-worker about it that some attention was brought to the incedent, and by then my boss told meit was too late, "it was my word against hers." and no actions could be taken.

So those are the three big issues i had with the company. other issues included major cuts in staff to the point where we couldnt even properly run the store, scheduling issues (i.e. I completely disappeared from the schedule for a week as the result of a "computer error" and it was not fixed. also, when i gave them my schedule for my other job[which i had to get to make up for the lack of working opportunities there] they of course, chose to schedule me for the exact same hours, so i had to call in to one job to work at the other.)

About a year ago, when i was still working at the tallahassee store, I called the St. Pete store to make sure i could transfer at my same rate of pay. Then, They told me it would be no big deal. The story was different after I actually moved. There were NO openings, and I had to wait about 3 months before a part time position opened up. by then i had lost my health benefits and had to take a cut in pay, but anyone looking for a job in the st pete area last year knows just how crappy the job market was then, so i took it, believing that i could easily get a raise. At my old store, good employees would get a dollar raise for each consecutive year they worked. I asked my new boss if i would get my raise after a year.

you would have thought i asked her to house an escaped mental patient. "No! even if you DO get a raise, it wont be a whole dollar."

I think I've efficiently explained how and why my dreams of working middle management at a fabric store were crushed like a snail on a driveway. so all of this, along with finding a TOTALLY AWESOME JOB AT A GREAT DEPARTMENT STORE, lead me to file my two weeks notice.

in my letter, i wrote how i was disappointed in what had happened to a once good company, and how i would love to stay if i thought i had any future. As i left that day,the store manager stopped me at the door, and said she hoped we could work things out, and that i still had my job if i changed my mind. It made me kind of remorseful. i went home and talked to the huzz about maybe trying to balance both jobs, because while my new job offered more steady pay and health coverage, Joanns was where i belonged.

so the next day, after my 8hr shift at my new job, I walked across the highway to joanns with a smile on my face.

Thing 1 greeted me at the counter with a sunshiny "you're not on the schedule i dont think you work today." and sure enough there were big black x's over my shifts.

I went to the office and asked the manager what was up, and her reply was "i dont know i just work here."

i got fired for quitting. even after the "can we still be friends" speech from the Store Manager. It would be one thing if I got a call saying not to come in. the worst part was they gave all my shifts to Thing 1. Insult to injury, bro. not only do you take my job, you then hand it over to the rudest, laziest, stupidest person available. OMGLOL.

The good news in all of this, and why i win, is i LOVE my new job. I don't want to say where, because I really can't find anything bad about this company and i dont want them to be brought down by my whiney dribble. It's a big department store though. If you havent been there, you've seen it in movies. particularly christmas movies.

I scored a full time job as the swimsuit girl, so the worst thing i have to do is help old ladies try on bathing suits, which I dont really mind doing because I like making people feel good about themselves, even if that means i have to look at them through their husband's eyes for a few fleeting moments before being repulsed by an abundance of body hair and moles.

lol i've never actually had to deal with that. the ladies that shop there are too rich to be ugly.

god I sound catty. sorry. I have issues with complaining when im happy.

I've worked there for like 2 months, and I've only seen 2 ladies in bathing suits, and both of them were so shy. They were embarrased to bring a friend to help them shop, and only asked my opinion out of desparation. both ladies were completely normal looking, not old or obese or anything, but one was afraid she was too fat, and one was afraid she was wearing a suit that was "too young for her." THEY BOTH LOOKED FINE! people are too self concious to be judgemental.

hooray for stream of conciousness. ive been writing for three hours.


RESULTS OF RECENT HAPPENINGS
-or-
THINGS I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT DOING:

just a regular blog. more for my benefit than yours. i dont have time to teach the internet to sew, though i would love to. ill still help anyone who asks (jessicawhite1985@gmail.com).

sew more. im kind of in a 1960's housewife funk. i think its from the department store.

curl my hair/ learn fingerwaves

build a better sweatshop.

a hip-hop dance aerobics class. (i'm too white. i need some...what do they call it?...moxie?...yeah im way too white.)